You found who looks like a promising match. The profile looks intriguing, and you share common interests. Now comes to the tricky part – starting that first conversation to get things going. Coming up with an opening line that stands out and kicks things off on the right foot can be daunting.
Don’t worry – we’ve put together some suggestions to help you craft that perfect opening message. Follow these tips and you can come up with a message that can grab the attention of your match. It will increase the chances of securing an interesting conversation as well.
Ask an open-ended question about something specific in their profile
Paying a compliment right off the bat comes across as too strong for many people. Instead, look through their profile for an interesting detail – a hobby, favorite movie, recent trip they went on etc. Then ask an open-ended question showing you read what they wrote and want to know more. This gives them an easy opening to continue the conversation.
Example: “I noticed in your profile that you recently went on a hiking trip in Peru. That sounds amazing! What was your favorite part of the experience?”
Comment on shared interests
If you matched, chances are you have some things in common. Point out something specific you both enjoy doing and use that as a springboard to ask them about their passion for the interest or experiences they’ve had.
Example: “Looks like we’re both fans of Game of Thrones! Who’s your favorite character? I’ve always had a soft spot for Tyrion Lannister.”
Compliment a specific aspect of their personality or values
Everyone likes a genuine, personalized compliment. But keep it focused on praising their personality, values or achievements rather than appearances alone. This shows you appreciate them as a complete person.
Example: “In your profile, you mentioned volunteering at an animal shelter. I really admire people who give back to good causes, so I just wanted to say kudos to you!”
Be playfully challenging if they listed strong opinions
If their profile lists strong opinions – a favorite sports team, type of food etc. – you can spark fun banter by being politely and playfully argumentative. Just keep it light-hearted rather than aggressive.
Example: “I saw on your profile that the Yankees are your all-time favorite baseball team. As a lifelong Red Sox fan, I have to throw the challenge flag here and give at least a half-hearted objection :-)”
Ask for recommendations based on their tastes
Everyone enjoys sharing recommendations of things they love – it shows you value their opinions. So if you share an interest like books/TV shows/podcasts etc., ask them what they might suggest you check out.
Example: “Looks like we both enjoy sci-fi books and movies. What’s the best one you’ve read recently that you would recommend I check out next?”
Make an observation connecting you both to a broader idea
Making conversational connections shows you have emotional intelligence and can find commonalities. Observe a broader idea you both relate to in some way based on profile details.
Example: “I couldn’t help but notice in your profile that you also enjoy traveling and trying new cuisines around the world. It seems like we both agree that enjoying delicious food brings people closer together!”
Compliment their tastes or style
Who doesn’t like hearing they have great taste or style? Give a genuine compliment about their musical tastes, writing style or another aspect of their personality that shines through in their profile. Just keep it classy.
Example: “I happened to check out some of the songs/bands you listed as favorites, and I’ve got to say – you seem to have really eclectic and cool taste in music!”
Keep it positive and light-hearted
Most importantly, keep your opening line focused on positive shared interests and experiences, not controversial debate topics. You want to elicit smiles and good vibes rather than debates this early. A little playful humor never hurts either when appropriate. The key is helping them feel comfortable and wanting to learn more about you!
With a thoughtful, friendly and conversational opening line referencing shared interests or personality traits, you’ll be on your way to kicking off an engaging back-and-forth. Who knows – you may have just met your perfect partner and future soulmate!